Fantastic compilation of "turns" - comedians, impersonators, singers etc. c. 1933
Reel 3. Compilation of various turns.
i) Two middle aged female comediennes do a routine - it is Gert and Daisy. They are gossiping about someone's new wife as they look at a market stall of vegetables. "Is she that fat girl I've seen him with?" says one. "Fat? Well she had mumps for three weeks before anybody noticed it." replies the other. They buy their vegetables and walk off. Claude Hulbert and Gus McNaughton are hiding in a box of vegetables, they stand up - they've got bunches of bananas on their heads and cabbages in their ears. They are taking notes on what the women are saying. They stand by a fabric stall and continue their banter. Daisy asks if they can get a drink somewhere. Gert replies that she might be able to get them some water and Daisy replies: "Water? I said thirsty not dirty!"
ii) 01:32:01 Radio announcer introduces Flotsam and Jetsam - famous for being big supporters of Empire. C/U of record playing, then of the front of a radio. One of them sits at a piano and sings a song about the radio and how wonderful it is. Big Ben is mentioned, calling to "us poor devils miles away." At the end of his song he says: "London Stations are now closing down, goodnight everybody, goodnight". Cut to the other half of the act who is sitting outside a primitive wooden house. He turns his radio off and begins to sing a song about Big Ben. We hear it striking in the background. The words: "Goodnight old London Town" are accompanied by shots of the famous clock and the Embankment at night. He is presumably living away from London and reminiscing thanks to the radio. The first man sits playing the piano - he is wearing some sort of veterans uniform with medals attached. He is playing a melancholy song. The other man walks in and says: "Hey, wake up, they are turning out the guard." The pianist then begins playing a march. The second man sings a song about the Changing of the Guards. Various shots of the ceremony are spliced into the middle of the song. Flotsam and Jetsam are obviously very patriotic and love London and Big Ben!
iii) 01:38:21 Two comedians - the one on the left is Stainless Stephen - dressed as railway guards chat about how the Arsenal football team is going to be on one of their trains and Sheffield Wednesday on the other. Stainless Stephen is left on his own and gives a soliloquy. Jokes abound about stingy passengers who never give tips. As he does his routine he is passed various packages to stack in the train. Other jokes include untouchables in India, bosses, hunts, tattoos, Kings Cross station etc. Routine ends when a box thrown by another member of staff hits him in the face. Claude Hulbert and Gus McNaughton emerge from some milk cans with the tops of the cans balanced on their heads! Wardour Films Limited.
Note: a very funny turn from Stainless Stephen! - SL.