"Being a few Words of Wisdom by Eve's Microbophone, assisted by Joe Noble." Animation. The Microbophone is a kind of radio microphone with a face. We see it surrounded by moving circles, as if it is speaking. The words it supposedly says are as follows: "Yes Girls, Life is Just One Illusion After Another. F'rinstance..."

Man walks into a Cafe which is called "Tigers Cafe" He has a thought bubble above his head with a woman inside it. We see him seated at a table. He rings a bell and a waitress comes over. A loveheart appears above his head. C/U of the waitress who looks like a Lyons Teahouse "Nippy". The Microbophone "says" the following: "Smitten by her neat appearance in her tea shop clothes, he makes a date." The man grabs her hand and says: "To-night, beloved, by the gas works."

That night we see him waiting by a lamppost for his date. When she arrives he is shocked by her outfit - a long striped dress. She changes into a match stick before his eyes (implication being that the dress makes her look tall and skinny). He falls over with the shock and hits his head on the lamp post. Gas spurts out of the lamp post and the gasometer in the distance moves down. Microbophone says: "Which only goes to show how the wrong sort of stripes affect sensitive sugar daddies!"

Sequence follows which illustrates how vertical stripes have a slimming effect ("Every flapper knows that") and horizontal stripes increase apparent height. A top hat is used to demonstrate optical illusions. C/U of man wearing topper (real action) Joe Noble (the cartoonist) takes off the man's hat and holds a tape measure against the brim. The audience is asked to try and guess the height. A hat is drawn with the crown being the same height as the brim is broad. An explanation is given for optical illusions. "The brain seemingly over-estimates "upright" distances on account of the extra muscular effort in raising the eyes." We are then shown "The "Slimming Line" theory in practice." Fashion drawings show how pleats, frills and spots can suit certain figures.

Intertitle reads: "And lots of muscular effort was needed to keep our Cameraman's eyes from wandering when he "shot" these - !" Panning shot of bevy of bathing beauties. Closer shot of some girls - probably contestants in a beauty contest. M/S of lots of the girls posing by the pool.

Note: see also "Wed-Time Stories" EP231 - different spelling of Microbophone, spelt Microbephone in other story I think.

Issue unknown.