M/S of Carnaby Street in London; commentator says we're here "to see a few crazes in the making". C/U of a fake newspaper front page: The London Gleaner - 'Pathe Pictorial Visits Kitchener's Valet' is the headline. In the shop 'I Was Lord Kitchener's Valet', founded by John Paul, we see two young men in old military jackets (as was the fashion) looking at various Union Jack / military souvenirs. Excellent L/S of the exterior of the shop, covered in Kitchener posters.

The men look at the news headline whilst lazing on a park bench; C/U of three medals one of the boys wears on his military jacket, reading 'I Was Lord Kitchener's Valet', 'I Am An £.S.D. Addict' and 'I Relieved Ladysmith'. Suddenly a 'real' ancient military man appears and shouts at the boys; they stand to attention and button up their tunics; as the man marches off we see he is wearing a pair of stripy shorts - no trousers!

Cut to a hippy boy walking along a residential street in an Afghan coat and rolled up trousers; he walks straight into the path of a speeding car (Aston Martin) that stops short of running him over. The hippy shouts at the driver; a couple get out, dressed in a cool 1930s style; commentator says "But what happens when one trend meets another? When hippy meets Bonnie and Clyde?". The girl nods at her partner who takes a machine gun from the car and fires at the hippy; he falls down in the road and does much twitching as he gets the bullets (as in the 'Bonnie and Clyde' film of 1967). The car drives off.

We then see a bizarre sequence where a pervy-looking man in a raincoat strolls beside a lake, wearing a plastic Union Jack hat. He sits beside a girl wrapped in a cloak and we see his orange slit-sunglasses read 'I am a psychiatrist - Lie down'. The girl shakes her head and resists until the man takes out a Kitchener poster and puts it on the ground; she takes off her cloak to reveal a Union Jack bikini and lies down on the poster. The man lies next to her, puts a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on her thigh; she has a Union Jack watch hanging from her bikini; the man winds a Union Jack alarm clock, puts it beside the girl and starts to kiss her. Cuts exist - see separate record.