Railway porter Danny Almond has a burning ambition - to get on the British stage.?
Railway porter Danny Almond has a burning ambition - to get on the British stage. But any unsuspecting passenger on the London-Barking suburban train passing through Woodgrange Park station, Essex, might think he was trying to set the world on fire.
An Indian, born in Cawnpore, 29-year old Danny Almond has solved the problem of the busy businessman who always misses his breakfast - he has perfected an edible razor blade....well, at least it's edible to Danny.
Breakfast over, Danny goes for his morning pint - not best British ale, but paraffin. Well stocked with fuel he lights the station fires and lamps. His built-in blowlamp soon has the station warm and cosy.
Woodgrange Park station has never been quite the same since Danny arrived three years ago. The dusty suburban structure is permeated with the magic of the East - Danny is a fully qualified Indian Fakir.
When they've nothing better to do, Danny and his fellow porters play 'tug of war' in reverse, with metal bars. So far, happily, the bars have bent before piercing Danny's throat.
Every morning during tea-break, Danny settles down to his bread and light bulb....it's more tasty than ham. Like most passengers, Danny Almond scorns the station waiting-room. But unlike anyone else he tokes his after-dinner nap on a bed of nails. His fellow-porters help him to relax...softly, quietly, gently, they stamp on him with their large railwaymen's boots.