British Pathe

Titles read: 'WARNER BROTHERS present - Payne & Hilliard - the celebrated Royal Command Performance comedy couple. A Pathetone production - RCA Recording'.

Probably filmed at Pathe Studio, London.

Tom Payne enters street set and performs rhyming monologue to music on how women are...

Titles read: 'WARNER BROTHERS present - Payne & Hilliard - the celebrated Royal Command Performance comedy couple. A Pathetone production - RCA Recording'.

Probably filmed at Pathe Studio, London.

Tom Payne enters street set and performs rhyming monologue to music on how women are attracted to him ('The Women I've Had At My Feet'). He is dressed in top hat and tails, carries a cane and wears a small moustache. He mentions several 1930s film stars - John Gilbert, Princess Olga (?), Greta Garbo, Mary Pickford.

Vera Hilliard joins him, playing the part of his fiance, dressed in chiffony dress and fur jacket. She is rich, he is pretending to be. Cross talk act ensues. She asks "Are you in position to keep me?" Ted replies "It depends on how long you'll keep - 'course, I can't guarantee anything during the hot weather"! They reminisce about a night they spent together - Vera remembers Tom looking like "a gorgeous Sheik... now you look like a frost-bitten tomato!".

Eventually she goes into a restaurant on the set. We hear a crash and Vera comes running out saying she has broken 30 plates. Ted goes next door to a pawn shop ('U. Nevagetemback') to raise money. He takes off his jacket, we hear another crash and he takes off his waistcoat. Vera comes out of restaurant, Ted goes in and comes out with some silverware in a napkin that he drops on the floor. Vera is shocked to find that she is engaged to "a common thief". Ted goes into pawn shop, we hear gunshot and he comes out in a tatty fur jacket, saying he shot the hearth rug.

Vera wishes she were back in the "days of chivalry when men were courteous to women". Fade to the couple dressed for the reign of King Charles. Vera sings of the old days while Payne interrupts with various 'jokes'. They dance a minuet. Sketch ends. End title reads 'Warner Brothers - The End'. This might originate from Pathetone PT 040. Duplicate exists - under 'Documentaries'.