"The big film districts are full of queer folk whose faces (or figures) are their fortunes." Panning shot of a line of freakish people including a midget, a fat boy, an old woman, a man with a large beard, an obese woman and a man who looks like Abraham Lincoln.
"When Eve desires the Cave-man stuff - here it is - " C/U of big strong man type with a starlet making eyes at him. He kisses her hand and then grabs her for a big smooch. "The witch's warning, too, is always there" C/U of a witchy woman speaking to camera (no sound). She makes faces - doing some character acting.
"Comedy and drama, as you wish - " The obese woman talks to the Abraham Lincoln look-alike. They move off to reveal the midget has been sitting unseen behind the woman all along. He picks up his suitcase and walks off. C/U of the midget (or dwarf) who takes his hat off then climbs down off a table that he has been standing on. "And "Cats" too, exactly right - !" C/U of two bitter looking women talking to each other. They look like they are having a good gossip. L/S reveals that one of the women is very tall, the other is standing on a bench to make her the same height.
Was an item in Eve's Film Review issue number 601.
Note: see "Picture Curiosities" from which this material has been lifted and retitled I think.